Rev up those motorcycles!
It’s mid-October and for some reason it’s Arkansas Week! As always, we have spoken with the great Tucker Partridge of Arkansas Fight to learn about all things Hogs. No scheme or injury reports here, just jokes and chaos, which is what the LSU-Arkansas rivalry is all about!
1. Look at us coming into this game off of huge wins over top ten teams! LSU and Arkansas entering this game with positive vibes frankly feels wrong. One or both of us are supposed to be wallowing in despair. Highly-anticipated LSU-Arkansas games were a staple of the late aughts, early 2010s. Is this game just more corporate Disney nostalgia bait?
Like with their takeover of Lucasfilm and Star Wars, the Disney takeover of the SEC has had mixed results. Sure, the characters you know and love like Luke Skywalker and Alabama are still around, but they’re hollowed, focus-grouped versions of themselves— offensive in their inoffensiveness. The only really good content is in the side characters like VAndorbilt (all right, I apologize for that one). Looking forward to the horrifyingly smooth CGI de-aged Houston Nutt and Les Miles on the sidelines though.
2. I’m gonna ask you the same question I asked our Ole Miss friends last week: what does having Arkansas as a yearly rival offer LSU fans that Auburn and Mississippi State don’t? Since the New SEC chose to preserve this series over those two, I’d like to hear the case for why it’s worthy.
We’re done with minimalism. Minimalism is a millennial thing, and I regret to inform you that we’re no longer the target demographic. No, it’s the reign of the maximalist Gen Z (Zoomers, if you will) now, and there’s nothing more maximalist than The Golden Boot. Other rivalries might boast an old trophy, bound in tradition and story. The Old Iron Skillet of SMU-TCU comes to mind; Paul Bunyan’s Axe for Minnesota-Wisconsin. Not us. We have a gold plated, two ton monstrosity that is a celebration of and warning about the gaudiness and excess and hubris that is quintessentially college football. This rivalry isn’t the college football America needs. It’s the college football America deserves.
3. Last year’s LSU-Arkansas game was an unexpected thriller thanks to Jayden Daniels, KJ Jefferson, and LSU’s complete abhorrence to the idea of having a defense. This year both defenses look improved and both QBs are normal-aged redshirt juniors. Hmmm this game is too normal for modern college football, we need to bring some 2024 in. Have you been enjoying CFB 25?
I’ve got an Arkansas dynasty mode, where I can live out the wild fantasy of the Central Arkansas high school football system not being completely gutted by state government mismanagement, gentrification, and redlining. It’s been a wonderful run, and the game realistically demonstrates that Arkansas could and should win every game between now and 2039 if they would just hire me as offensive coordinator and let me game recruiting. It’s easy. All you have to do is max out select prospects early and then hard sell as soon as possible. I don’t know why more coaches don’t do this. Anyway, every time I play LSU they run this weird 3-3-5 defense that lets me run inside zones for 200 yards a game, so I’m hoping y’all do that this weekend.
4. This will be the first time EVER that LSU and Arkansas play in the month of October. Out of all of our rivals, Darren McFadden might evoke more fear than any other single player. Which former LSU player is the spookiest to Arkansas fans?
In the spirit of this college football year being the successor of 2007, I will remind readers of a player who scared me to my core: Jacob Hester. That’s right. He wasn’t particularly fast, and he wasn’t particularly full of finesse, but he had 28 carries for 126 yards and 2 touchdowns against us, and I have not forgotten that since November 23, 2007. It didn’t make sense, in a kind of Lovecraftian horror way, where the more you watched the less you understood.
In terms of true fear, Patrick Peterson always horrified me, especially because we were throwing it all over during that era. He’s among the best athletes I’ve ever had the privilege to watch play in person.
5. Arkansas looks to have steadied the ship after everyone thought Sam Pittman would be fired last year. Good for y’all! Are fans excited about this snappy young OC who seems to be bringing an exciting new culture into the building?
Thus far Bring Back Bobby is going better than Bring Back Bo Pelini. Much to think about.