Welcome to life after Nick
Despite both teams having two losses, Saturday’s LSU-Alabama game is just as significant a matchup as we’re used to it being. This Q&A doesn’t care about the results on the field, or breaking down the matchup, we’re here for JOKES! Roll Bama Roll’s Brent Taylor stopped by to let us in on how they’re coping with Big Daddy leaving last season.
1. Aha! Now you finally understand! Life after Nick Saban leaves you is pretty hard isn’t it?
I see you speak from the heart, huh? There’s a lot of hurt there, and I totally understand. But, hey, I know you’ve been waiting for 18 years to be able to ask that one question, so fair enough.
But seriously, yeah, it sucks. I like having fun watching football, and it turns out losing isn’t all that fun. I was around for Dennis Franchione, Mike Price’s cup of coffee, and Mike Shula, so I never forgot that, but I had successfully managed to compartmentalize that feeling away for almost two decades.
2. Bama is entering the LSU game with two losses for the first time since 2007, the year LSU became the first two-loss national champion of the modern era. With both LSU and Alabama having two losses, that’s good news! One of us could do it again! If history does repeat, what other 2007 trends are you excited to see return? iPods? National Treasure movies? Apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur?
My Millennial is showing, but we desperately need skinny jeans and ankle socks to come back. I can’t handle Gen Z with their calf-height white socks. I’d also like to request MySpace back, while we’re at it. I just loved putting your top friends for all the world to see.
3. Speaking of 2007, little-known fact: that’s the year Ryan Williams was born! Did you know that? Did you know Ryan Williams was 17? Have you told all your friends and family and made sure they’re aware?
Oh, oh! Have you heard the good news?! Our lord and savior Ryan Williams is only 17! A star is born! Please don’t close the door on me.
4. Have online Bama fans taken command of Kalen DeBoer’s wardrobe yet?
DeBoer is proving stubbornly resilient to wardrobe criticism so far. Fair play, I guess. And look, I have no expectations for him to dress in a suit and tie all the time. Wear something comfy, man. Football stadiums in the South in September are miserable. But, like, this is a billion dollar program with Nike sponsorships… At least wear some quality athletic gear. The Walmart-quality material with fake Alabama branding looks horrifically uncomfortable. I’m half surprised he isn’t spending the entire game scratching his underarms from poorly sewn seams.
5. Look, making a joke about losing to Vanderbilt feels too easy. We actually know a thing or two about losing to Vandy… in baseball. That’s why I will absolve you of all jokes if you listen to this clip of the Vandy Whistler on repeat for three hours. This is what we baseball people have to deal with, and for losing to Vandy, you should have to sit through it too.
Uhmmm I think the 8th Amendment applies here, regardless of presidential election results. Please don’t subject me to this cruel and unusual punishment. I’ve already had to deal with losing to the entire state of Tennessee, but listening to them whistle through the missing teeth, too? Just put me out of my misery.